Wow, I sure wish I had more time to talk to you all. But wow, let's just say how life changing just 2 hours ago has been for me.
When I got my call to Hong Kong, I knew it would be hard. But I didn't know HOW hard. And let me tell you... this. is. so. hard. I've stayed up late at nights, shaking and crying to God on my knees. Now this sounds SO dramatic, but hey, it is a dramatic time in my life! I've never been so helpless, weak, confused, stressed, anxious, even feeling unworthy to be here, not good enough, and just in the way. wasting time. wasting my time, my companions time, our investigator's time, and even worse-- the Lord's time.
Finally today I met with our mission president, President Hawks. This man is changing my life, and I mean that with all my heart! He talked with me for an hour today, and together we just cried. This week I felt like I lost all my faith, I felt like a hypocrite telling others that God can help them through anything, because I wasn't letting myself receive His help. Finally he read to me DC 1:23 and 35:13. I don't have scriptures on me now, but it says how this work is for the weak. this work is for the weak and simple, the broken hearted. whoa, that is ME! I have literally gone from feeling like I'm awesome, to feeling like I literally am nothing. And all of a sudden, the biggest miracle in my life has happened thus far! Just literally 2 hours ago! And nothing dramatic even happened, it's just been my change of heart and mind set. You guys, I CAN DO THIS! I am weak, I can't speak, but this just shows how preaching the gospel is literally ALL the Lord's work. This just shows how miracles literally happen ALL because of the Lord. nothing is from me!
My whole life I've thought, "yeah, God did help me buuuuut i'm also pretty awesome so...." (haha this is so embarrassing to admit, but i'm sure you all saw it, too.) but now I know with all my heart that God is literally the reason why I can do anything hard. He is my strength, through Him I can do all things! Through Him and Only Him! Please family, please listen to this... even though you probably already know it, but God hears your prayers. And He truly does answer them. Have FAITH, meaning be patient, preserver, act, and quit feeling sorry for yourself. He is on our side. and you know what? Jesus Christ, the Son of God, knew suffering for all of our sins and weaknesses would be hard. But He didn't know HOW hard. And even in the midst, He too thought, "Oh God, why hast thou forsaken me?"
In the times where you feel the most far away from God...the times where you feel at the bottom of the abyss... these can be the times in all reality, where you are closer to God than every before. He loves each and every one of us. This life is the time for us to change and become like Him. This mission is for me to become the woman He wants me to be. He knows I can do this, so I know I can do this. I thought this mission would be a way to sort of slightly 'pay Him back' for everything He has given me, but no. I am even more indebted to Him, because I know now more than ever before how much He cares and loves each and every one of us. Never stop praying :) never lose your faith. And if you think you've lost it, this can be THE most beautiful moments of your life.
I told President Hawks I haven't been the missionary I've wanted to be. And he asked if he could add just one word: "Yet." The future is in our hands! Study the Book of Mormon, every page has testimonies of prophets that can and will change your life and bring you closer to God!
well real quick, I know you probably want to know about some miracles?
Well one- I met a woman on the bus named Sandy, and got her contact info and even scheduled her for the next week! and I called her twice to confirm, and she was SO happy to talk and so excited to meet and talk about Christ! (WHAAT?!) (she also spoke some english haha) well, turns out she's not in our area, so we did a turn over to sisters in our apt. well the sisters came home that night and just thanked me. I was so confused. they asked her why she wants to meet with them and Sandy said, "because Sister Bosler was so happy. Christ makes her happy, and I want to be happy like Sister Bosler." ohhhhh my gosh I about died. I am so excited for Sandy. I am so grateful the Lord helped me smile on the bus that day and share my testimony of the Savior! never stop smiling! :)
Real quick - Helen. PRAY FOR HER PLEASE!!!! Her mom told her she'll commit suicide if she gets baptized this Sunday. and Helen doesn't want to break the commandment of not honoring her mother, after all her mother has done for her. Man. We have the faith. Miracles can happen. She may not get baptized this sunday, but I know she will. in Ether, how can the prophets move mountains? it's not all of a sudden like they lifted the mountain and threw it over their shoulder. well maybe! but i doubt it. The Lord has His own time, His own way, and the best part about it is struggling and leaning on HIM. It'll happen :) will you have the faith?? THANK YOU! Love you all! here are some pics!
at my second "cheng out" - okay, i didn't eat THOSE MUSHROOMS EW SICK WITH BEEF??!?! blaaah. haha but, I actually really enjoy these cheng outs! They always start with a soup, you drink it all, then in the same bowl they'll fill it with rice, and with your chopsticks you'll just pick out whatever toppings you want! EVERY house always has choi, and every house I've been to so far has tofu and/or fish! boo ya baby! this cheng out was so fun. they spoke little english, and they're just the most awesome family!
Look how gorgeous!!!! this was our hike last week! with the HUGEST SCARIEST SPIDERS EVERYWHERE
ps. yesterday we had FHE at bishops. dessert was melon (HOW AWESOME?) and i was leaning over getting a piece and every one starts screaming things loud but i didn't understand obviously, so i just slowly looked up, and all of a sudden a spider (not too big) was crawling up MY ARM!!!!) you can only imagine what i did. the bishop looked at me and said in english "chinese kung fu" hahahaa oh man!